Tuesday, May 26, 2015

A Weekend of Markets

We love going to markets and it seems to me that the Durban market scene is burgeoning.  It feels like we are spoilt for choice every time we decide to visit a local market. 

Last Saturday we decided to take our visitors from the Netherlands to the Shongweni Market.  Shongweni Market generally ticks all the boxes for us: it's close to home, there are wonderful choices for breakfast, there is a nice "countrified" vibe, most of the stalls stock home-produced produce and dogs are welcome.  What more could we ask for?

On Sunday we decided to stop by The Morning Trade for brunch.  This is another of our favourite markets - there are always wonderful brunch choices and the coffee is excellent.  This market has plenty of deliciously interesting food stalls, freshly baked breads, baked goodies and the most delicious almond milk (a favourite of mine!) and fresh lemonade on offer.  There is definitely a slant towards organic, healthy choices and vegetarians won't go hungry at this market.  The Morning Trade has recently moved from its previous location on Morrison Street, to Station Road - near to the old Lion Match factory.

Wednesday, May 06, 2015


It's been such a sad couple of weeks.  Paula and her boyfriend of 4 years have broken up.  She's heartbroken, he's heartbroken, I'm heartbroken... we're all heartbroken.  It's just horrible

They were such a cute couple, and having begun dating when they were fifteen, they have pretty much grown up together.  He fitted in so beautifully with our family, it's like he seamlessly became "one of us".  But the sad truth is that once they finished school and began student life, they simply didn't fit together quite so well anymore.  They tried really hard to make things work, but once those cracks started to appear there was no stopping them.  The last several months things have been strained and I think the break-up was inevitable.  It's just so hard.   I love these kids so much and to see them hurting like this hurts me.  My momma heart is aching for both of them.  

I guess the reality is that this is one of those storms that we all have to weather at one point or another.  No doubt there will be lessons learnt and character growth as they move on from all of this.  But in the meantime, my heart aches for them and I wish I could just hug them better....

Thursday, April 30, 2015

April Love: Thank you...

I have to admit that I am a glass-half-empty kind of gal.  I can never be relied on to "always look on the bright side of life" (ba-doom, ba-doom, ba-doom, ba-doom pee-doom.... sorry....) , but instead can always be relied on to expect the worst, to bemoan my fate and generally to be a pessimistic PITA (Pain In The Ass).... It can get very tiresome!  So yes, it is time to make a change.  Time to unGrinchify myself. 

Where do I start?  Well, I've been thinking that perhaps the first step in this process is to be thankful for my many, many blessings.  So, I am trying each day to take a moment to be grateful.  I've been looking at this site and I think the advice is pretty good.

I'm hoping that in time I will develop a sense that my half-full glass is enough, that it's all I need, that it satisfies me and that I am blessed to have it.

And this post brings me to the end of my April Love journey.  Thank you to my fellow "April Loves" who have stopped by my blog and who have shared this journey with me.

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

April Love: My eyes

My eyes.  Hmmm.  There is this thing about my eyes.  You see, when God was handing out eye lashes, I think I must have been playing tiddly-winks around the corner; because truly, I got the most pathetic eye lashes ever - the runt of the eyelashes-litter, the rejects, the left-over eye lashes that nobody else wanted. 

My eye lashes are sparse, very sparse, they are short and, while not exactly pale, they are neutral-coloured, to be honest my eye lashes are almost non-existent.  Pathetic.  I rely HEAVILY on mascara (bless the inventors of mascara, I am forever in their debt!)  If I don't wear eye make-up I find my family asking me if I am feeling unwell.  I look like a plucked chicken.  I would never go in public without mascara ever.  No sirreeee.  Never going to happen. 

I think I inherited my pathetic eye lashes from my mother.  She also never went without make-up.  One day, shortly before she died, she had to be rushed to hospital, she was very, very ill indeed.  The paramedics were wheeling her to the ambulance and I was walking alongside the stretcher, feeling quite traumatised, wondering whether she was about to die (she had been found unconscious that morning, it was horrible.)  Suddenly, she pulled the oxygen mask off and demanded to know whether I had packed her mascara?  I said I wasn't sure and she insisted that the paramedics wait while I scratched through her overnight bag to see whether the mascara was there!!  Yes, she was a feisty woman alright, what she lacked in eye lashes she made up for in personality!!

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

April Love: Clouds

Roxy took this photo a few days ago and I just love it.  Another reason why I love Autumn - the beautiful sunsets!

Monday, April 27, 2015

April Love: Love is

Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.

Sunday, April 26, 2015

April Love: Something beginning with A

I've been wading through a lot of emotional stuff of late.  It's frightening to me how our view of ourselves, our lives, our family and life in general really, can become so mixed up and messed up that eventually we don't know which way is up.   Being a co-dependent can amplify this hugely.  When your emotions are so reliant on the emotions of another person/people, you can very easily lose sight of what you are actually feeling.  You can stop being the real you and live through everyone around you.  I can see that for many, many years I was so tied up with what other family members were feeling, whether they were okay/happy/on an even-keel, that I didn't even stop to assess my own emotional health...It's frightening to me. 

I can remember sitting in therapy one day, and my therapist asked me to describe a particular situation to her - I was saying "and then "insert name" was feeling upset because she didn't want to do this particular activity and "insert another name" was getting frustrated and angry because she did want to do it and I didn't know what to do to make them both happy again."  The therapist stared at me for a while and then said "and what did YOU want to do at that time?  Did you want to do the activity?  What were your feelings on the matter?"  I was blank, completely blank, eventually I had to say "I have no idea what I was feeling.  No idea."  It was like a jug of ice-cold water being poured over my head.  Light-bulb moment of note.  There are SO many situations I can recall where I know exactly what each family member was feeling, but I have no clue, absolutely no clue, what I was feeling in that situation. 

For a couple of years now I have been trying to change that.  I have been trying to focus on my feelings, my wants and needs, my emotional well-being.  It's been so much more difficult than I thought it would be.  I assumed that by nature we are all pretty selfish, so self-care should come naturally.  In some ways it does (see yesterday's post!), but in other ways it has been an uphill struggle.  Putting my own agenda forward, rather than jumping through hoops to make everyone else's agendas work has not been easy at all.  In some ways, now that I am aware that my needs and feelings deserve to be taken into account, I find myself protecting that right rather more vociferously than I should, so there has been some tension around here!  But it's worth the battle.  I need to live an authentic life.  I need to be true to my inner self.  I need to live as the real me, with all my thoughts, needs, desires, failings and foibles.