Monday, August 27, 2007

Is there a perfect age gap?

sisters
There is a 6 year age gap between my two daughters. I never planned it that way, in fact I definitely wanted a much smaller gap, but due to circumstances beyond my control, 6 years it had to be.

My daughters are not at all close, unfortunately they have very little in common (apart from their wacky parents). Over the years they have learned to live relatively peacefully side-by-side (I’m tempting fate by saying this – tonight they will probably have the mother of all fights!), but you won’t often see them doing things together; which I find incredibly sad. I often wonder if this distance between them is a result of the age gap or more to do with personality?

Purely from a parenting point of view, I have found the large age gap between my children a blessing. I was able to devote a lot of time and attention to Roxy during the 6 years that she was an only child and then when Paula came along Roxy was just starting proper school and was very busy with her friends and all sorts of activities and she didn’t want my undivided attention as much, so I had plenty of time to give Paula one-on-one attention.

As the girls have grown older I have found that in some ways it’s like having two only children, if that makes sense. They are at such different stages in their development that you can’t lump them together at all.

Looking back, knowing what I know now, if I could have chosen a gap I think it would have been four years. I think that would have been a perfect age gap. What do you think?

5 comments:

ollie1976 said...

My brother and I are 4 years apart and are different as night and day.
-Jen

Wayfarer Scientista said...

My sister & I are severn years apart & while we may not have been particularly close as kids we are close now. As a benefit of the age gap I think, we both feel like only children as well as children with siblings.

Tammy said...

Mine are 17mos apart and do not think highly of each other and they are 22 &23. lol Personality opposites.

Joyismygoal said...

that is so sweet-- mine are all close to 2 yrs apart but the people I know who have 3 years between seem to have it right.

Gill said...

Thanks so much for your reponses - I have high hopes that like wayfarer scientista and her sister, they may grow closer as time goes by. Maybe it does have more to do with personality than age gap though...

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