My mom was admitted to ICU on Wednesday with dangerously low blood sugar and potassium levels, weighing roughly 32kgs. This didn't come as a shock as she has some deep-seated problems, mostly stemming from alcohol abuse, and has been on a downward spiral for years now, but things have been really falling apart for the last couple of months. She generally refuses to acknowledge or speak about her condition and will not consider any medical help at all. We only succeeded in getting her to hospital on Wednesday by way of the fact that she was unconcious at the time. Finally she is in hospital where at least some of her issues can be addressed.
For the time being she is out of immediate danger and there is now talk of her being tube fed. They are doing various tests on her, which is a huge relief to me, as these tests are long, long over-due. But I have to wonder in the long run if any of this will help.
I can't begin to describe how hard the last few years with my mom have been on us. She is an amazing, if difficult, person. She is so good at so much; she can sew beautifully, she is a brilliant cook, she knits, she plays piano and has the most beautiful singing voice, she drives better than any man I have ever met, she could name every bird she laid eyes on and could organise the most amazing parties, she had a keen interest in politics and for years campaigned for the political party she supported, she was good at her job and loved it; she had so much going for her and then she simply decided to give up on life. I think what did it to her was the death of my brother. And since then she has been slowly but surely committing suicide, right before our eyes. No matter how much we beg, plead and appeal to her, she doesn't want to get help or help herself. My emotions are on a perpetual roller-coaster - I get so angry with her, I feel so sorry for her, I get so angry with me for being angry with her.......
So that is what we are dealing with right now. I am just hoping that we will reach a turning point sometime soon.