Fast forward just over 10 months: happily ever after is not looking so very rosy anymore! Grant has on one notable occasion come home from a work function a tad more than tiddly....shock, horror ;-) I have realised that having to cook a meal every night, after a long day on my feet at work, is not much fun at all; particularly when the sight of red meat turns my stomach! I am pregnant and to say things are not going well, would be something of an understatement. We also just happen to be as poor as a couple of scrawny church mice. Read between the lines...... no fancy meals in romantic restaurants, gazing into one another's eyes. Oh dear!
The truth of the matter is that love, marriage and my "happy ending" turned out nothing like I expected. Life threw some very unexpected curve balls at Grant and I, we have never been particularly well off financially, we have dealt with a premature baby, job loss, infertility, two traumatic ectopic precnancies, the loss of my brother and for nearly 3 years we actually lived on separate continents. Things like this put strain on a marriage. We have not lived happily ever after, truly, we haven't.
But out of all of this we have crafted a life for ourselves that we feel comfortable with. It has taken many years and at times I have felt sadly disillusioned, but I am not that naive little girl anymore, I have matured and with that has come the understanding that we are the authors of our own happy endings.
Life is not all roses and bliss. Life frequently sucks, to be frank. What matters is how we deal with the bad times. Do we allow them to shape us into something better than what we were before, or do we crumple under the pressure and stay down. Believe me there have been times when I have stayed down for a while! But eventually I have pulled myself up from rock bottom and determinedly carried on. The bottom line is I am striving to make my life something good. I am seeking out happiness every single day. Who cares about the ending, I'm not looking for a happy ending! I want to be happy today and tomorrow and for the forseeable future and only I have the power to make that happen.