You may have noticed that I have “taken against” a number of things recently. I am very anti flying ants, I am very anti snakes…. But what you don’t know is that I am very anti a whole lot of other things too.
I am anti mornings: I am not pretty, I am not a morning person, combine those two and you have me standing in the kitchen at 6:15am with my bed-head look going on, in my nightie and stokies, making sandwiches. It’s downright scary and to think that that’s the first thing my kids see of a morning – how scarring, how potentially damaging. I hate mornings.
I am anti my cat: This is a biggie. Considering I am not pretty and I’m quite fat, and I have a butt the size of a small continent, it follows that I have low self-esteem. My dog helps with that. My cat doesn’t. Zip has taken against me. I call him, he ignores me; I scratch his favourite spot just above his tail, he shows me his bottom and walks away; I pick him up to cuddle him and he writhes about, jumps down and looks at me with a look that clearly says “Geez, woman!” I think the fact that I took him to have his little ballies cut off has something to do with this shift in affections. Stupid cat!
I am anti men: Men don’t have periods, men don’t go through menopause, men don’t suffer with vaginal thrush….. I HATE men!
I am anti that song by The Script: “The Man Who Can’t Be Moved”. It has got to be the MOST annoying, MOST stupid, MOST continuously played song of all time. Have you actually listened to the lyrics?? WTF? The guy is clearly in need of mental help!
Conversation between Paula and me about this ridiculous song:
Me: Is this not the most ridiculous song you have ever heard?
Paula: I LOVE this song, it’s my favourite song
Me: What??? It’s daft!
Paula: It’s SO romantic, he’s so in love and he has lost his girl.
Me: Hello! Has the guy never heard of facebook???
Me: I’m serious. He needs therapy!
Paula: You just don’t get it do you?
Nope, I just don’t get it. I don’t get any of this stuff!!
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