Thursday, November 20, 2008

I don't get it!

You may have noticed that I have “taken against” a number of things recently. I am very anti flying ants, I am very anti snakes…. But what you don’t know is that I am very anti a whole lot of other things too.

I am anti mornings: I am not pretty, I am not a morning person, combine those two and you have me standing in the kitchen at 6:15am with my bed-head look going on, in my nightie and stokies, making sandwiches. It’s downright scary and to think that that’s the first thing my kids see of a morning – how scarring, how potentially damaging. I hate mornings.

I am anti my cat: This is a biggie. Considering I am not pretty and I’m quite fat, and I have a butt the size of a small continent, it follows that I have low self-esteem. My dog helps with that. My cat doesn’t. Zip has taken against me. I call him, he ignores me; I scratch his favourite spot just above his tail, he shows me his bottom and walks away; I pick him up to cuddle him and he writhes about, jumps down and looks at me with a look that clearly says “Geez, woman!” I think the fact that I took him to have his little ballies cut off has something to do with this shift in affections. Stupid cat!

I am anti men: Men don’t have periods, men don’t go through menopause, men don’t suffer with vaginal thrush….. I HATE men!

I am anti that song by The Script:The Man Who Can’t Be Moved”. It has got to be the MOST annoying, MOST stupid, MOST continuously played song of all time. Have you actually listened to the lyrics?? WTF? The guy is clearly in need of mental help!
Conversation between Paula and me about this ridiculous song:
Me: Is this not the most ridiculous song you have ever heard?
Paula: I LOVE this song, it’s my favourite song
Me: What??? It’s daft!
Paula: It’s SO romantic, he’s so in love and he has lost his girl.
Me: Hello! Has the guy never heard of facebook???
Paula: Mom!
Me: I’m serious. He needs therapy!
Paula: You just don’t get it do you?

Nope, I just don’t get it. I don’t get any of this stuff!!


Kitty Cat said...

I am anti-mornings too, down with mornings!

momcat said...

Sorry girls I'm pro mornings cos its when I'm at my freshest and full of energy. I was up at 4.30am today. I didnt have to wait my turn at the kettle, I picked what I wanted to watch on tv and then got stuck in to my day. I came to terms with mornings a long time ago probably when I had small babies and had to get up and get to work. The world is quiet and fresh then.

Gill, Appreciate your honesty and your blog is the best place for you to vent rather than at your family. I am bad at this time of the year generally and not in the best of moods so I am speaking to myself here as well! But its always easier giving advice to someone else. Be careful of being a person who doesn't like a lot of things or is not accepting of a lot of different things especially if its a generational thing. I dont always like a lot of the music my 18 yo son listens to but I dont give my opinion on everything because if you are perceived as having strong opinions about a lot of things or always being right, then people (your kids) give up really talking to you or they just fight or argue with you. Be as open minded as you can be even if you don't like something and accept that there is another point of view and just let everything (the cat) and everyone (your kids/hubby) exist in their own space and be themselves. All my best.

Ness said...

Well I am very anti JZ's insane rants every day there's a new insane rant tied to the lamp post announcing "Enforce prayer in schools", or "Send teenage pregnancies away to boarding school" ugh, I cannot get out of this hell hole fast enough.

Gill said...

OOhh I forgot JZ, I am anti him too!! It's quite fun this venting :-)

Rambler said...

I'm a bit scared to comment... being a man and all...

allie said...

This goes way past a "Blegh" day, Gill.

You have my sympathies.

When I was a teen, my mom had a stack of really old, scratched 78 records.

(Never mind if you don't know what I'm talking about. You are obviously too young)

Would you believe, she let me throw them down the garden path in our backyard, smashing them into smithreens, when I was feeling like you are?!

It was wonderful therapy.

Maybe you have some old crockery just begging for the job?

Tamara said...

Hmmm... I'm anti-mornings. But not cats. But then again, my cats act like dogs, so maybe that explains it ;-)

Hope you feel brighter and less anti soon!

The Jackson Files said...

Gill, you are on a roll. Two seriously funny posts in a row. LOVE IT.

Lucy said...

nothing like a good gill rant! haha
shake hands sister.. I am either hating everything these days or crying mushy over everything! damn menopause!

Jeanne said...

Cats - who understands them?? OUr neighbour's daughter adores their cat Troy and panders to his every whim. We, on the other hand, let him come and play at our house and snooze, but he never gets fed here. Still, if he had to have both of us calling him, who would he go to? US! She secretly hates that cat...

As for mornings, I liken the trauma of getting up every mornign to the trauma of birth over and over again. Think about it - wrenched from your warm, safe, dark bed at a time when you are not ready, into a cold, harsh and unforgiving world...!

angel said...

i like "anti" lists!

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