Friday, December 12, 2008

Slay me!!

Brace yourself people, 'cause I need to unload!

Yesterday Rox and I went to the gynae. Sounds simple, it's not! For some reason I have developed this complete and utter phobia about going to the doctor in general and the gynae in particular. Everytime I have to visit one, my blood pressure goes through the roof and they get all worried and make me lie down for 15 minutes and won't let me go until the *bloody* (sic!)pressure comes down - it's so embarrassing and makes me more nervous about going the next time. I think part of the reason I panic is because between Rox arriving and Paula's birth, every time I would go to the gynae I would have to go into hospital for some surgery or other (I have had more laparoscopies than I can count, serious!) and I am petrified of anaesthetics! The result being that over the years I got more and more nervous about going.

Anyway - Rox has been having some gynae issues, so I felt she needed to see the gynae and I was long overdue for a pap, so I set up the appointment for yesterday. I popped Rescue Remedy the whole morning and drank chamomile tea and spent the entire morning convincing myself that I was being silly and I would actually be fine at the appointment.

We got there and Rox wanted to go first because she was terrified out of her wits (her first trip to a gynae). I went in with her - thankfully! He asked her a whole bunch of questions and then said he would have to do an internal scan. So she had that, and you should see what her ovaries look like!! Good grief!! They are more than twice the size they should be because they are covered in cysts. He said straight away that she has Polycystic Ovary Syndrome - classic case.

It's really scary as apparently she has a significant chance of developing diabetes, high cholestrol and worst of all infertility. Anyway, he has put her on a special contraceptive pill that she now has to stay on until she wants to fall pregnant. She has to have blood tests for sugar and cholesterol and follow a special diet as well. Not nice at all. But at least she has been diagnosed early and we can now deal with it correctly and watch out for the sugar issues etc. We also know about the issues with infertility, so when the time comes we will be prepared. The infertility aspect is what worries me most of all, having been down that road myself.....

Then it was my turn. By this time I was already stressing big time. So I put on the gown etc and he took my blood pressure - straight away he asked if I was having a stressful time of late. Aaargh! I explained that I ALWAYS get "white coat syndrome" and my blood pressure screams when I see doctors of any sort. He then started talking about me having to go for a mammogram and at that moment I came over all dizzy with bees rushing in my ears and black spots in front of my eyes. How embarrassing!! I still cringe when I think of it. He immediately took my blood pressure again and it was even higher. Turns out I was having a panic attack. He must think I am SUCH a charlie!! And now of course next time I go I will be even more nervous........

13 comments:

momcat said...

Congratulations on facing your fears and going for the checkup even though you got embarrassed at your reaction. It would be worse if you didn't go because you knew how you would react and also a bad example for your daughter who will probably need to go regularly. This is also exactly the same thing that Vodkamom's daughter has been diagnosed with and she is also quite stressed about it.

Kitty Cat said...

Oh shame, I am so sorry to hear about your episode. I am even more sorry to hear about Rox's diagnosis. Not nice for her.

I can understand why you get panicky - it's a build up of all your previous experiences!

Marsha said...

I'm sorry to hear that Paula has to deal with this but also glad that they found it early. One of my daughters had / has endometriosis and we always thought fertility would be a problem for her... not! Hopefully, that will be the case with Paula as well.

Have you considered asking for a script for something to calm you before your next gyno visit? Just something temporary to get you through the exam. They do it for fearful flyers and would probably do it for you as well. You would need someone to drive you but it would be worth it if it helped you get through it without raising your blood pressure!

Lucy said...

Oh Gill, so sorry to hear about Rox. Thank goodness, she has such a savvy mama who got her to the doc early and addressed her issues. She will be okay. As for you!! Holy cow that is the worst case of white coat syndrome I've ever heard of! I would be embarrassed too, although one can't help how you deal with stress. Next time will be better! Hugs to you AND Rox. xoxo

allie said...

I think lots of women are really nervous about the scans, exams, mams and tests, Gill.

Its just that you have had bad experiences in the past - AND that you are more transparent than a lot of us :-)

I hope Rox's journey turns out to be a smooth one

supermom said...

You went and that is what counts...good for you. Having been sexually molested it makes me feel as though I go there to be willing molested. Hate it. So I don' go there often either.

SOrry about Rox. But like you say it is good that it was caught early on. HUGS to her

Janine said...

Oh you poor thing! I wouldn't worry about what the doc thinks - he's seen it all. :)
Sorry about Rox's diagnosis, but you're right, at least you caught it early and can do something about it.

Trish said...

well done on summoning your courage to go at all.

Sorry to hear of Rox's diagnosis but I am glad you have the knowledge and are able to keep it in careful check.

hope you have a Merry Kiss mess and a beary huggy new Year.

Simone said...

Mine is next week Monday I might have the same as your daughter - arghhhhhhhhhhhhh.

going to doctors period has become so intense for me arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Jeanne said...

Oh Gill, I'm sorry to hear abotu Rox. But as you say, at least now that you know what the story is you are prepared and can take steps to manage the condition. Ignoring it isn't going to make it disappear. As for white coat syndrome, oh yes I can relate to that!! I hate having smears but force myself to go as a good friend of mine passed away before she was 30 and a smear would have picked up that she had cancer. I've only ever gone to female nurses or doctors for mine, and I swear that also makes a difference to the stress levels. That said, I always arrive at the clinic in a mad rush straight from work, having jogged from the train station and then she says "hmmm, the blood pressure is a little high..." Like, duh!!

angel said...

oh my word it sounds dreadful- i get nervous but i've never been that afraid of doctors!
i am glad you can start sorting rox's issues out now already, thats not nice for her at all.

Rambler said...

I would have the same response... sheesh!

allie said...

Hullo Gill -
What a lo-o-ng silence!
We miss you.

Anyway, a very happy Christmas to you and your family. May you be blessed.

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