Monday, October 26, 2009

Disgusting! Really, really disgusting post

As you will know if you've been reading this blog for any length of time, I am a complete naff. I am scared, grossed out or nervous of just about everything. Geckoes included. Living on the South Coast of Kwa-Zulu Natal, geckoes are everywhere and where they aren't their poop is. Horribly disgusting little creatures. They love to creep around the ceilings with their pinky-grey-brown semi see-through bodies, purely to torture me. I'm always scared they're going to plop down on top of me. With good reason, seeing as about 16 or 17 years ago one did.

Picture the scene: It was almost bed-time and Grant had gone into the kitchen to make tea, I was sitting in the lounge, clothed only in my nightie (I know, too much info, but it's relevant to the story, so bear with me), reading a book. Next thing a gecko fell off a picture frame, right down the back of my nightie. Oh my word! For a moment I completely lost my marbles, ripped my nightie off and began to wave it around my head, shrieking and dancing around the middle of the floor. Grant came tearing into the lounge and stood gazing at me open-mouthed. Well wouldn't you? I could just see him thinking "Finally, she wants to play stripper fantasy games - I like it!" It took quite a while for him to get out of me exactly what I was up to, I was completely speechless for at least 5 minutes. So I don't have a great track record with geckoes.

Now that we have cats, I am presented with gecko corpses on a daily basis. To my mind, the only thing worse than a live gecko is a dead gecko or a piece of one. Eeuuuuw! The cats just love to hunt them, they'll go to enormous lengths to stalk them (see below) with an incredibly high success rate.

Pepsi on top of the grandfather clock.

Last night I was sitting in the lounge chatting to my Dad and Grant, unconsciously playing with something with my bare toes, picking it up, rubbing it under my feet (truly I have no idea quite why I was doing this...need to see a shrink!) We'd been sitting there for ages, when we got up to go through to the dining room. As I stood up I suddenly became aware that I had been playing with something with my toes, I bent down to see what it was and there it was, between my toes ......... shudder, shudder, shudder.... I realised that all this time I had been fondling a large, dead gecko with my feet. Total freak out! These great big shudders kept going right through my body - I still get freaked out just thinking about it. EEEEeeeek!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Me again.....

You must be getting SO tired of me ranting and raving and moaning and groaning...... I promise this will be the very last negative post for at least a week. Watch this space for a very upbeat post about everything that's making me happy soon, soon!

Today, however, I have to have a gripe because I am royally peed off.

Reason being that some silly ar$e has made my daughters all nervous and scared in their own home. And I just hate that. To me your home should be a place where you feel comfortable, relaxed and nurtured. You should be able to go to sleep at night without feeling scared. I know, I know..... I live in South Africa and nervousness goes with the territory. But really, until Saturday, apart from Rox who lives in a perpetual state of anxiety regarding her safety, we felt relatively safe in our house at night.

On Friday night Paula slept over at her friend's house, which is just a couple of roads away in our neighbourhood. My friend Tania (the mom) woke up in the early hours and heard a noise in the passage, got up and came face to face with an intruder. Thankfully and surprisingly, he looked her in the eyes and began to back away and then made a run for it. The police were called and arrived, with dogs, in 10 minutes, but were unable to find the intruder. He got away with the contents of their wallets (over R1000), and a laptop. He'd entered by bashing in the burglar guards on a window in the lounge. I can't stop thinking about how much worse it could have been.

At the time Paula seemed totally unfazed, she was just really mad at being woken up from her sleep! (This is a girl who loves her sleep) But yesterday she was unhappy about staying at home in the afternoon while Rox and I went for a walk ... not like Paula at all. Grant was away last night and Rox got hardly any sleep. She woke up in the night convinced there was someone in the lounge and was up and about searching out the baddies.....

It makes me so mad that some shameless criminal (Tania said he didn't look a day over 16!) has made us feel all vulnerable and anxious. I hate it. If I could lay my hands on him, I would wring his neck for him! AND spit in his eye!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

About that deleted post....

So some of you will have noticed that I deleted my previous post? Just wanted to let you know that I haven't gone out and committed a murder ;-)

I ummmed and ahhhed about deleting the post. I thought Rox might have wanted me to delete it when she read it, but funnily enough she didn't, in fact she said something along the lines of "You go mom!", Paula rapped me over the knuckles about my bad language (blush, blush), but also felt it was a valid post. But eventually I decided it would be better to pull it. So I did.

This is exactly the reason why I sometimes have my doubts about keeping my blog going. I want my blog to be real, to be true to what's going on in my life. I don't want it to be some fake, prettied- up version of my life, I want it to be about the real me, warts and all, the moody, stubborn, sometimes bitter and twisted, often bitchy, but usually nice me - because, truth be told, that's who I am....but the frustrating thing is it can't be. What's going on in my life is generally related to one or other family-member and I don't think it's really fair to spread their lives all over the internet, tempting but not fair. The bits of their lives that I feel completely comfortable about sharing are so boring; it's the juicy stuff I want to share and that's the stuff I have to be protective of.

So for now, you're going to continue to get the candy-floss version of my life I'm afraid. Don't know how much longer I'm going to be comfortable with that, but we'll see.

Thursday, October 08, 2009

Random Dozen

Trust me, I will get back to posting some sensible blog posts soon, truly I will. Right now I just have so much going on (don't worry, it's all good) that blogging is waaaay down my list of priorities.

Although I am late again (the questions go up every Tuesday and are meant to be posted on a Wednesday), I kinda like the questions on this weeks Random Dozen, so I am doing it anyway.

1. On an average, how often do you splurge and buy something for yourself?
I used to be terrible about spending money on myself - I'd buy for the kids, the pets, even Grant and never for me, but as I am getting older I am getting better at spending money on me.

2. Are you more like Hall or Oates? Just kidding. Real question: What is the last creative project you began/finished? Feel free to post a pic of it. Sore point, I have a cross-stitch project I have been working on for something like 5 years....

3. OK, Goldie Locks, do you consider your house too big, too little or juuuust right?
I love my house, it's nothing fancy but it has loads of cupboard space (a biggie for me) and it has a very user-friendly kitchen BUT I desperately need a spare room and an office, especially the office.

4. What is your favorite outdoor chore?
slightly hysterical laughter....... let's just say I'm not an outside chore kinda girl. Does walking the dog count? I love walking the dog!

5. If you knew that cigarette smoking was not bad for your health but would be a weight loss tool, would you use it? Why or why not?
In my mis-spent youth I smoked - only about 3 a day, but I LOVED smoking. I gave up a few months before I fell pregnant with Paula and haven't had one since. I could start smoking again tomorrow though, I really could....but I won't because (a) I have the most rotten sinuses in the world and (b) I don't like the way I smell when I smoke.

6. On a road trip, would you rather drive or ride?
Oh gawd, I hate driving and will get out of it at the first opportunity.

7. What do you consider a trivial pursuit?
Dare I say "Blogging" LOL

8. This weekend, we downloaded the movie "Duplicity" with Julia Roberts and Clive Owen. Within 5 minutes, I was bored and annoyed, but I kept watching 5-10 minutes at a time hoping it would get better between small chores. I finally gave up and Jorge watched it alone, and then regretted wasting that time because he disliked it intensely, too. So ... how long do you watch a movie or read a book before giving up on it?
I hate giving up on a book and will soldier manfully on for at least a few chapters before admitting defeat. Movies I will happily walk away from in about 30 seconds.

9. Is there a song that you really love but are embarrassed to admit because it's not cool or it's racy or because it's by Hall and Oates?
"I touch myself" by The Divinyls. I have no idea why I like it, but I really do.

10. On a scale of 1-10 (10 = extremely) how spontaneous are you?
It depends what we're talking about here. Buying books or magazines of a bottle of wine - I will do it very spontaneously. Planning a holiday, or a new home, or car, or something like that, I will plan, plot and ponder for weeks.

11. Are you a food and/or beverage snob?
Hmmmm...... in some ways. I'm not big on overly fancy cuisine, but I like to buy good quality ingredients (I like to get my fruit and veg from Woolies)

12. Who/What are you trying to control in your life? (I hear people gulping and see them sweating in anticipation of how to answer this one.)
Everything and everyone! Truly. I am a control freak of note. The only thing I am really struggling to control is myself, evidenced by the uncontrollable spread of my buttocks!!!! How's that for honest?

Friday, October 02, 2009

Random Dozen

I saw this over at Just Some Thoughts and although I'm a bit late, I decided to join in anyway. Random Dozen is hosted by 2nd Cup of Coffee

1. Tell me the absolute best way to watch a movie.
At our local movie house, eating wine gums, with my family...and it has to be a chick flick

2. Do you ever think about your own funeral? If so, do you have specific ideas about how you would like it to be?
I have planned my funeral down to the finest detail, I feel VERY strongly about it. My funeral will be attended by Grant, Roxy and Paula, Impi, Eunice and my Dad and aunt if they're still around. It will be conducted at the crematorium, there will be no singing, no flowers or any of that other nonsense. There will be a short prayer and that is it. I want the cheapest coffin they can find (funnily enough I had always wanted a pine coffin, with rope handles, but it turns out they are not the cheapest, who knew!) and my ashes must be chucked in the back garden.

3. Are you more of a giver or a taker? I hope it's pretty evenly balanced in the long run, I'd hate to think I'm a taker!

4. Vacations: planned activities and schedules, or play it by ear? Hee, hee...... I like to plan, big time! Our holidays are planned down to the last detail (don't laugh, but I actually use spreadsheets!!) I do realise and gracefully accept that the plans are going to be tweaked and tampered with in real life though.

5. What is one often overlooked item in your home that needs to be cleaned regularly?
The ceiling fans. Where does all that stuff come from??

6. Name a cause that means a lot to you.
Animal welfare. At the moment I am freaking out about the disgusting and horrific Zulu ceremony that is coming up soon in which a group of men kill a bull with their bare hands (ie they tear it apart!!) I think it is disgusting and disgraceful that this sort of thing is allowed to happen. Hateful!!

7. Do you eat a regular old peanut butter jelly sandwich, or do you customize it? And by the way, jelly or no jelly? Peanut butter and syrup on toast. Yum!

8. If we were having a conversation in person, how would I know if you were nervous?
I am hopeless at hiding my nervousness. I get all red around my neck (although nowdays thanks to my dodgy hormones I am nearly always all red around the face and neck...) my eyes dart around, I fidget. Believe me, you'd know!

9. Do you have an elaborate bedtime routine, or just the basics of tooth brushing and jammies?
I do the whole shower, night cream, baby powder.. thing and then I hop into bed and read. I can't sleep without reading, even if I go to bed in the early hours, I read for a while.

10. Have you ever regretted something you wrote on your blog?
Yes. 'Nuff said.

11. Has anyone ever told you that you look like a famous person or celebrity? Did you agree?
Oh my word, once when I was a LOT thinner and younger I was told I looked like Lady Di. Wow! Those were the days :-)

12. If you were going to dedicate a song to a loved one or friend, what would the song be and to whom would it be dedicated? Boyz II Men "One Sweet Day" - to my little brother, my gran and my aunt.